the pills

this was a rather short dream that occured. i’ve been having a hard time sleeping lately; i keep waking up every 2 or 3 hours into my sleeping. it’s really annoying.

i honestly don’t remember much of what was going on in my dreams, but there was one particular moment where i was trying to go back to sleep and i had a dream that i was in a bedroom and i was popping a bunch of pills. i consumed 10 pills from 2 bottles, i was shoving them in my mouth like i was eating something and i haven’t eaten in weeks.

then i felt like the dream was sort of fast forwarding. i also sort of felt that this event was really taking place – like i was not dreaming at all. and then i started to panic. i was extremely scared of the fact that i just took a bunch of pills and i knew i was going to overdose and die. i was trying to reach for a phone to call 911 but as soon as i even got to the phone i woke up.

and this is one of those dreams where you wake up by immediately opening your eyes and gasping. my stomach was in knots and i felt sick to my stomach. i tried to remember if i took any pills that night…i usually take an aspirin at least 1-2 times a week because i get headaches a lot. but i didn’t take any pills of any kind.

sometimes i wonder if the dreams that you have are just things that are made up in your head and you’re trying to psyche yourself out.

i also sometimes get fascinated when i feel very alive in my dreams, and i feel like the things taking place in the dreams are really happening in my life. this is when i usually wake up and the whole dream starts to replay in my head and then i start to think about what i did the past few days before i then realize that i was just having a dream. it’s almost like that first few seconds of waking up i don’t know if i am back to reality or if something is still going on in the other world.

do you ever feel that you are in another world when you are dreaming? it’s like that second life where anything can happen.

edit: i just realized something about why i had this dream. i was having a discussion with my mother the other day about how pretty much our whole family is on anti-depressants. she is taking prozac, my aunt is taking zoloft, and i think my grandma takes something (not sure). i said to my mother that i was thinking about going on an anti-depressant as well.

maybe this dream was someone showing me that i would be making a dangerous decision with taking medication. i was on a prescription for approximately 2 years that turned me into a complete couch potato eating zombie. so i am actually glad i had this dream because that really opened my eyes.