Repeating Dreams

I know it has been awhile since my last post – I haven’t been inspired all that much really to continue writing these as many of my past dreams didn’t seem to hold any meaning or have any significance to them.  In fact, I don’t even remember half of them.  I guess it’s that writers block that we all get from time to time.

But I did have a dream just now that sort of opened my eyes again.  I actually had 2 different dreams tonight, but I’m going to put them in separate posts because they are very different.

I don’t know exactly when the particular date was, but there was a dream I had about a few months ago.  The only thing that happens is that I’m driving in my car passing through some exits.  It starts with me driving down the freeway.  This is not exactly an easy drive by any means.  I have to go through these exits through country farmland because this particular freeway is not completely connected.  There are signs that show me I have to take a certain exit to get back onto this highway.  I don’t remember what the highway number was but I know it was a 3 digit number, I want to say it was 147, or 140-something.

Come to think of it this is the only exit that I had to drive on that is difficult – and it’s the only exit that takes up my whole dream.  So it starts out as a regular highway then I go through this long ramp that is surrounded by very tall trees – very wooded like – and then I stop at a road.  Out in the middle of nowhere.  And the funny part is, the highway cannot be seen from any viewing point at all and there are no trees blocking any view.  It’s just gone.

So I turn right and drive down this road for awhile – simply just a lot of flat wheat fields with no wheat growing, and then I end up at a 3-way intersection with 2 very large gas stations.  Now the first dream I had with this I did end up stopping at one of the gas stations to fill my car with gas and get a bag of Fritos.  I remember the gas price in the first dream to be $2.90 per gallon.  I then get back in my car and go down the other road that was at the intersection – and then I turn onto some ramp to get back on the freeway.  That was the end of the dream I had a few months ago.

Tonight – My dream was the same scenario – and the exact same location and look – but there was a twist.  I started out driving down the freeway again as usual…except this time there were a lot of semi trucks.  Some were going the same speed I was or slower, and some were going crazy fast, at least twice the speed of what I was doing.  I somehow manage to get in front of all the semi’s so I’m the first one on the road.   Now before I get to that long winding exit ramp, there are these white solid lines that make me shift to the left side of the freeway with a blue and white sign next to it saying something like “you MUST drive in between these lines” – and something about getting fined or punishable by law if you don’t drive in between them.  So I maneuvered in between the lines and the semis behind me did the same thing.  There was no road construction at all – the freeway was completely fine.

I eventually meandered back over to the right lane and headed down the exit again as I seemed to know that I remember going to this place before.  The ramp was still there except this time there were no wooded mini-forests that led me to the end of the ramp.  It was kind of a blur – but I don’t think anything was significant about it.  I turn right at the ramp again and head down the road till I see now just 1 gas station.  The gas station had completely changed – the gas price sign was all in metal with a digital reader, and the price of gas was $9.50/gallon.  I remember getting so pissed off about it that I looked at my fuel gauge and it was full.  So I didn’t go there and kept driving to the other road that led me to the entrance of the ramp – but the ramp said it was closed for construction.  I pulled my car over to the shoulder of the road, and then I woke up.

I’m thinking that maybe this was sort of my own taste of things going on in my life, and maybe it’s a sign to tell me that my life is under construction.  I have been feeling lately that I am going to have a humungous lifestyle change soon – whatever that may be.  I know that I am not happy with my life and my health and the way I’m handling things – and I want to change it – but it seems that I haven’t found any motivation to do so.  It’s like – people can tell me all they want how I’m going to be so much better – but it’s almost like I’m waiting for some OK signal from the universe to move forward and make whatever changes I want to make.  Maybe the universe is telling me that it is coming – but I first need to think about some things – about the consequences and the pros and cons of the lifestyle change.  Maybe it’s telling me that it’s time to change, but I can’t move forward because I’m not in my heart ready yet to change.  Maybe the universe is also telling me that my life is in some sort of a chaos – hence the ramp closed sign – and I need to fix the ramp myself before I can get back on to the swing of things.

I’m starting to wonder if the first dream I had of this was during the time when i was employed and living in Raleigh, NC last year – before everything fell apart and I lost my job and moved back home to 5 months later of not having a new job.

But as you know – sometimes your dreams are not about what you think they are about…if that makes any sense.